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不妊症で「子供は?」攻撃が辛いと泣いている人が理解できない。私も30代半ばで不妊症だが初対面の人に「お子さんは?」と聞かれても「不妊治療中です」と答えている。この時の反応で常識ある人、今後良いお付き合いができるか否かの判定してる

カテゴリ: コメント(6)
113: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)01:34:14 ID:TNk

個人的に神経わからんなーと思うこと

掲示板で
不妊症なのに「子供は?」攻撃が辛いとか
二人目不妊とか、経済的事情で
「二人目は?」って言われる度に帰って泣いてるという人が理解できない





スポンサーリンク





私も30代半ばで不妊症
不妊治療5年目で成果なし
でも40歳になるまで頑張って続ける予定

初対面の人に聞かれるのが、まず「ご結婚されてるの?」
既婚だと答えると「お子さんは?」
ここまでは誰でも経験あるし失礼な質問でもないと思う

子供がいないとなると、いろいろ推測される

1.旦那と不仲(別居等)
2.経済的事情
3.計画子なし
4.どちらかもしくは両方子供嫌い
5.不妊症

上の方にある該当項目ほど、噂好きの主婦たちの格好の餌食

115: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)01:34:34 ID:TNk

1.旦那と不仲(別居等)

「旦那さんとは新婚気分でラブラブ?」
「週末はデートしてるの?」
この手の質問を投げてきてこっちの反応を見てる
返事を濁したり目が泳いだりすると不仲とみなされ
別居してるとか家庭内別居状態と面白おかしく噂される

2.経済的事情

これは図々しい人が頑張って食いついてくる
旦那の勤務先、仕事内容で推測され
経済的事情で子供がもてないと判断されるとマウンティング開始

3.計画子なし

私の年齢になると、妊娠したら高齢出産に該当するのでこのケースはないけど
30歳くらいまでならお説教開始
みんな口を揃えて「子供は早く生んだ方がいい」

4.どちらかもしくは両方子供嫌い

これはもれなく説教開始
「自分の生んだ子は可愛いわよ」とみんなテンプレのお説教
酷い時は非国民扱いされる

5.不妊症

これをカミングアウトすると、その瞬間マウンティング好きな人に下位認定されるらしい
図々しい人は治療内容や費用など、根ほり葉ほり聞いてくる

私は初対面の人と話して「お子さんは?」と聞かれた時点で
「不妊症です!」とはっきり告白している

116: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)01:34:48 ID:TNk

「あら・・それは・・・ごめんなさいね」
と常識ある人は戸惑った反応をするので
常識ある人、今後良いお付き合いができるか否かの判定ができる

不妊と聞いた瞬間、一瞬ニヤけて、ニヤけを慌てて隠す人が結構いる
もれなく性格が悪い証拠となる
独身のお局や、マウンティング好きな主婦に多い

他人の私生活を探るのが大好きな人は根ほり葉ほり質問責め
その人は不妊仲間でもないのに
かかってる病院を聞き出し「もっといい病院紹介しようか?」
と軽はずみに言う

新たに知り合ったグループ、入社した会社などで
初めて「お子さんは?」と聞いてきた人に「不妊治療中です」と言えば
自動的に全員に伝わる

常識のある人は腫れものに触るように一切聞いてこない

たまに逞しいメンタルの人に病院や治療内容をくどくど聞かれても

「結果に繋がってはいませんが、信頼できる先生の元、自分なりに納得できる治療を受けているので、ご意見はどうかご遠慮下さい」

と言えば、以降聞いてこなくなるし
非常識な人が更に質問してきても
常識のある女性達が諌めてくれる

だから「お子さんは?」の質問に何年も苦しんだり
「二人目は?」の質問にひっそり泣き続ける女性の気持ちはわからない

一番最初の段階で、強固なぶ厚い壁を自分で立てて防御すれば済む話じゃん

119: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)01:52:47 ID:kWt

>>116
まさか三部作とは思わなかった、邪魔してしまったついでに…
113さんみたいに防御方を自分でしっかり編み出せるのはすごいけど
それをできない人に対して神経わからんとまでは思わないなー
私的にこれだ!と思える解決法があっても、元々の性格が気弱だったりやりこめられるしかない立場にいたり
そもそも分厚い壁の築き方を知らなかったり、人それぞれ事情があるものだから、全ての人がサバサバと防御できるとは思わない
その防御できない一部の人達がせめて掲示板で心の内をぶちまけようと書き込みに来てるのかな、と

でも「どうやってかわせばいいのかわからない」という人には良いアドバイスだと思う!
113さんの解決法で、掲示板に泣きに来る女性が減るといいね

120: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)02:12:54 ID:TNk

>>119

そうだねー神経わからんは言いすぎかもね
傷ついた人がいたら申し訳ない

「お子さんは?」って何度か言われてムカついた・傷ついた
っていうことならわかるんだけど
何年も傷つき続けたり、ひっそり泣き続けたりするくらいなら
「不妊治療中です」の一言でほとんど黙らせられるんだから
頑張ってハッキリ言えばいいのにーとは思う

っていうもの、私は子供嫌いで子供作らないと誤解されてて
いかに子供が可愛いか
子供は未来の宝であるって説教されて
不妊治療始めた頃に一度人前で涙したことがあるんだよね

会社で泣ちゃったので、聞いた側にもそれなりにダメージあって
ちょうど他の会社から声がかかってて辞めようと思ってたから
「一身上の都合」で退職したんだ

その会社の人達は私が傷ついて退職したと思ってて、訂正もしなかったんだけど
それで学習してもらって
今後入社した不妊の既婚女性が傷つかなかったら、それでいいと思ってる

会社なんかの狭い女性コミュニティの話だし
大統領演説みたいに大勢の前で宣言するわけじゃないんだから
会社の休憩室で数人の女性を前に宣言して
その後楽になるんだから、勇気をもってカミングアウトした方が楽だよ

不妊治療してる人なんて、世の中たくさんいるんだから

122: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)03:30:33 ID:Z0E

>>120
悩んでるのは寧ろそんなことで黙らない親族やマウンティング屋さんに対してじゃないかな

一人目は常識ある人は何度も聞いたりしないと思う
二人目は何歳差で色々変わってくるし話題になりやすい

切りたいけど格好の餌食だからマウンティング屋さんが離してくれなかったり
旦那の親族だから本音も言えず疎遠にもしにくくストレスの捌け口が無かったり

性別にまで文句言うバカはどう返せば良いんだろう
いつか子供の事も傷付ける事になりそうで
関係切れたら本当に幸せなのに

123: 名無しさん@おーぷん 2016/09/10(土)03:45:57 ID:Lqb

逆に根掘り葉掘り聞くとか?
子作りの参考にさせてください!とか言って
…無理だな

引用元: ・その神経がわからん!その24





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この記事へのコメント

  • 2019年03月15日 13:42

    常識がある人は初対面で結婚、子供の事なんて聞いてこないんじゃない?
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